A long long time ago, back in February or so, Zach and I bought a Living Social coupon for 1 dozen Sage Bakery cupcakes, which is supposed to be half price. Yes, you can tell already that it wasn't. After traveling an hour each way to Seattle for said cupcakes, we arrived twice to find them closed. That was our fault, as we went once on a Sunday (their baking day, on which they are closed to the public), and once at 7 (where we found out that they are open until 7 and must have closed early that day). The third time that we tried to trade in our coupon for cupcakes (which was about a month and a half ago), we made it on time, and a very nice girl told us that we were supposed to come in and order them first, and then come pick them up, although we had no choice in what flavors, and that there would actually be a baker's dozen.
We left optimistic.
When the day came that they would be ready to pick up, we hoped to ourselves that they would be amazing, and worth all of the trouble since they had cost us a total of 8 hours and about $100 in gas... seriously. Perhaps we went into it with a bit of a chip on our collective shoulder, but:
When we got there, the girl behind the counter got our box of cupcakes and placed them on the counter in front of us. We peered inside at 12 cupcakes, as she rang us up for an additional $3 in tax... I don't know how you get $3 tax from $16. Perhaps there was tax on the free half of the cupcakes? But that doesn't really make sense to me, especially since the other coupons we've purchased always included the tax; we've never handed in our coupons and then had someone say, "Okay, now let me ring you up for the tax." It has always been included. We asked about that, and were answered with a laugh. We asked about why the other girl said a baker's dozen (which means 13) but there were only 12 cupcakes. The answer this time was an "Oh, I don't know" and another laugh.
The cupcakes consisted of 3 chocolate on chocolate (which seems like a cop-out to us), two vanilla on vanilla (still boring, but at least we both like vanilla), two vanilla on chocolate, one lemon graham cracker frosting on vanilla, four with raspberry frosting--two vanilla cake and two chocolate.
None I would call moist. The chocolate cake was basically inedible. The vanilla cupcakes were easier to force down, but none were really good. The only one I actually sort of enjoyed was the lemon graham cracker frosted one, of which we had to split because they only gave us one. It was at least interesting, and the lemon provided some flavor while the graham cracker mixed up the texture and helped to fool my mouth into forgetting about the dry bland cake. I was able to eat the vanilla on vanilla, but the frosting basically tasted like buttery sugar, not vanilla flavored, but maybe more of a wet chalk flavor (don't ask how I know what wet chalk tastes like). The raspberry frosting was just "vanilla" frosting with raspberries haphazardly tossed in, creating a greasy, buttery, seedy frosting with a little raspberry flavor and plenty of awkward chunks.
Needless to say we were totally unsatisfied; we were more so outraged at the fact that they normally charge $3 for those tasteless things. Zach said they might be good if you lived in a sewer.
I'm sorry, but if you are trying to run a business, you should have a quality product, especially if you're a small business. I know Walmart, McDonalds, and Ikea can get away with selling junk because they are huge chains, but Sage Bakery, you can not afford it! I mean, honestly, a child could make better cupcakes. Too bad...
I give them the "You make me want to become a bulimic" rating, which is the equivalent of zero stars.
If I don't finish a cocktail, it's got to be pretty awful. This is a good rating system for me. I did not finish those cupcakes.
We left optimistic.
When the day came that they would be ready to pick up, we hoped to ourselves that they would be amazing, and worth all of the trouble since they had cost us a total of 8 hours and about $100 in gas... seriously. Perhaps we went into it with a bit of a chip on our collective shoulder, but:
When we got there, the girl behind the counter got our box of cupcakes and placed them on the counter in front of us. We peered inside at 12 cupcakes, as she rang us up for an additional $3 in tax... I don't know how you get $3 tax from $16. Perhaps there was tax on the free half of the cupcakes? But that doesn't really make sense to me, especially since the other coupons we've purchased always included the tax; we've never handed in our coupons and then had someone say, "Okay, now let me ring you up for the tax." It has always been included. We asked about that, and were answered with a laugh. We asked about why the other girl said a baker's dozen (which means 13) but there were only 12 cupcakes. The answer this time was an "Oh, I don't know" and another laugh.
The cupcakes consisted of 3 chocolate on chocolate (which seems like a cop-out to us), two vanilla on vanilla (still boring, but at least we both like vanilla), two vanilla on chocolate, one lemon graham cracker frosting on vanilla, four with raspberry frosting--two vanilla cake and two chocolate.
None I would call moist. The chocolate cake was basically inedible. The vanilla cupcakes were easier to force down, but none were really good. The only one I actually sort of enjoyed was the lemon graham cracker frosted one, of which we had to split because they only gave us one. It was at least interesting, and the lemon provided some flavor while the graham cracker mixed up the texture and helped to fool my mouth into forgetting about the dry bland cake. I was able to eat the vanilla on vanilla, but the frosting basically tasted like buttery sugar, not vanilla flavored, but maybe more of a wet chalk flavor (don't ask how I know what wet chalk tastes like). The raspberry frosting was just "vanilla" frosting with raspberries haphazardly tossed in, creating a greasy, buttery, seedy frosting with a little raspberry flavor and plenty of awkward chunks.
Needless to say we were totally unsatisfied; we were more so outraged at the fact that they normally charge $3 for those tasteless things. Zach said they might be good if you lived in a sewer.
I'm sorry, but if you are trying to run a business, you should have a quality product, especially if you're a small business. I know Walmart, McDonalds, and Ikea can get away with selling junk because they are huge chains, but Sage Bakery, you can not afford it! I mean, honestly, a child could make better cupcakes. Too bad...
I give them the "You make me want to become a bulimic" rating, which is the equivalent of zero stars.
If I don't finish a cocktail, it's got to be pretty awful. This is a good rating system for me. I did not finish those cupcakes.
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